D. Pogue

Out of respect for the people who actually invited me here, I will not respond any further to the barely-coherent juvenilia being spouted by someone who should really know better. Your Hobby Is Doomed. Regards, DP ps - Last one out the door, please get the lights. The rent is paid up until the end of the month, but after that I hear this place becomes a Wal-Mart. Or was that a McDonald's? Let's all raise a cheer for cookie-cutter lock-step style. pps - "Pathological Conformity Is Kewl!!" ppps - "He's the boss, folks. You can't fight City Hall."

After being virtually unknown to most of us here in The Lounge, Mr. Stav has spent today issuing a veritable flurry of rather, shall we say, unfocused posts. I suppose for some fanboys who may have followed his earlier material on the site, these new posts may be of some humour value. For the rest of us, though, we're left wondering why Mr. Stav has chosen to express himself with such unrestrained and petulant fury here. Never mind the hilariously ironic overuse of the term "narcissistic" by Mr. Stav, he has chosen to lauch several vicious, petty personal attacks on long-time site members "AlexG" and "Bistrobob85" on another "companion" Thread of his own creation here on Repticlic. Both Alex and Phil are very good herpers, and both would be welcomed here in my home. Even if I disagreed with one of them on a particular subject, I would never use my position as a Vebsyte Boss to name and publicly attack/humiliate them. That sort of garbage has no place on any reptile forum in my opinion. These clearly personal grievances, aired right out in public, are exactly why so may credible Reptile People avoid ALL reptile forums..........including, now, this one. I thought that people were welcome to discuss contentious topics here without fear of reprisal.....or of petty self-serving intervention by those in authority. But it wasn't to be. We've seen ample proof of that today. Mr. Stav is apparently unable to make the distinction between "attacking a concept"/"attacking a viewpoint" and attacking an identifiable person. Like he just did with our good friends Alex and Phil, for example. It's not a nuanced argument here. In my opinion, what Mr. Stav has done here today is far more damaging to this site, AND to his own credibility, than it is to the views and positions stated here in this Thread. There is a major difference between an attack by the likes of the still-anonymous "beekeeper" and the drivel put forth here today by one of the owners of this site. It should be obvious, even to an investor. Regards, D. ps - It's not a "language problem" Mr. Stav. I think everyone here truly does understand what you are saying. And what you have done here. pps - "OOPS....he did it again" ppps - "Point-by-point-by-point-answering".......The least effective possible debating style.......embarrassing, really.........but please, do continue amongst yourself...........

I really have absolutely no idea of why this individual feels that the entire contents of this about-to-be-defunct Thread were in any way about him personally. I can guarantee everyone reading these words that Mr. Stav's name has never come up on the Thread, nor in any of my private conversations with Lounge Members about the deplorable state of today's Reptile Hobby. Sorry, son........we really don't even know your name......certainly none of us hold you personally responsible for the awful mess that The Hobby is currently in. How can anyone attempt an intelligent discourse with someone when that person, who has his finger on the button, feels that the entire planet revolves around HIM??? Funny.......I just realized that this individual is the only "Site Authority" who has been completely absent from the proceedings here until today........proceedings that started many months ago.......when all of us were invited here because of our controversial and admittedly vehemently defended views. No-one here attacked any person as an individual, apart from valued member "beekeeper" whom Mr. Stav just quoted on another Thread. What many of us did was dare to question the current trends in what used to be a very good hobby, when concepts like "Natural Selection" and "respect for nature" weren't the sorts of things that put one one the margins of The Hobby. Why then would anyone feel that he was being singled out, and then feel the need, not to state his opinion here........but to lash out at the folks who are legitimately, genuinely fearful for what this Reptile Hobby is becoming?? If you have any real hope of holding your own in a debate with most of us here, Mr. Stav, you should really try to do better than comparing my writing and photography to the indecipherable nonsense of "MSN". Really. I can certainly see how some people would be displeased with the contents of this Thread, just as the people who went to jail were angered by the recent best-seller book on the reptile trade by Bryan Christy. What I don't understand is why those who reject the views contained here don't simply explain why crossing two species is such a good idea........and then explain why producing nothing but genetically inferior animals is such a good idea.......and then explain why you think it's so great that most of us can barely find an un-modified or non-morph reptile at any "expo". Instead of shrieking hysterically about who you are, why don't you argue coherently against the views most of us have expressed here?? You haven't done that, though, Mr. Stav. What you have done is tried to make yourself and your "position" on this site the focus of attention.........with a tremendous number of garbled, unfocused posts that may actually represent your views more accurately than you would wish. Someone here has exhibited some classic "narcissisitic tendencies"...........but I don't think it's any of "us"......... Regards, D. ps - Even though this Thread was never intended to be about you, Mr. Stav, it has now sadly become about nothing else. What a shame. pps - Sorry to be the one to point this out, but when you favourably quoted our friend "beekeeper", well, you missed the mark, sir. By about twenty years. Breeding nothing but mutant snakes by recipe for a mere ten years really doesn't make anyone a "pioneer" of anything but marketing........and deformity propagation.........You'd best get yourself some historical perspective as well before you start awarding "pioneer status" like you're handing out Mr. Freezes to a spoiled, petulant child. ppps - Since things have picked up a little here tonight, Gina has called in some help from her room-mates Giselle and Amanda. The next two rounds are on me..........just put it on my tab........I'm good for it.........

I think it would be an embarrassment for any site to have outside forces dictate what their content should be, tho. Just me mind you. I'd like to thank everyone who contributed intelligent, discussion-provoking commentary, silly humour, and pretty pictures here on this Thread. It's clear from today's explicit directions from the fellow with the avatar of a cartoon child sitting on a toilet that the various serious issues presented here are no longer open to debate. Frankly, I'm suprised that the informed minority viewpoints expressed openly here were permitted to continue as long as they did. In closing, I would like to emphasize that Everything In The Reptile Hobby Is OK Now. A small handful of people with views that can't be adequately countered by anyone in the Majority have been effectively silenced.........again. That's good, though, because now things can continue as they were........you know........."Everything In The Reptile Hobby Is OK Now". Perhaps that could be the title of a great new Thread here or elsewhere, who knows? Finally, I would like to go on record here as saying the following.......my parting words to everyone, everywhere on every Reptile Forum: Point #1: "Aweeeeeesome pics, bro!" Point #2: "Thanks for sharing!" Point #3: "Keep us posted, dude" Point #4: "Visit my website for a full listing of the hottest new mophs currently available for sale!" That's better. Things are back to normal now. What a relief. I was worried for a minute that the Hobby had some massive problems facing it in the near future. Thank goodness I was incorrect about that. Everything In The Reptile Hobby Is OK Now. Regards, Don ps - . Indeed.

The problem with this sort of informed opinion is that it comes part-and-parcel with a little something called "historical perspective" and another little thing called "respect for Natural Selection". Generally speaking, these two concepts are neither valued by nor condoned by the majority of today's Herp Hobbyists, and they are in fact feared, reviled and ultimately dismissed by virtually all of the Big Time Morph Breeders. For obvious reasons. In an ironic twist, one of the individuals who is now apparently a Drymarchon "expert" once laughed at me for keeping Yellowtail Cribos. This was a mere six years ago, and while I stood in front of a table filled with awful, washed-out designer reptiles, I was asked the question, "So what do you breed?" The question itself implied that one absolutely must "breed" reptiles in order to be taken seriously...........a revealing notion I think.............but I answered nonetheless with, "I just hatched out 23 Drymarchon corais corais". Far from the congratulations I might have expected from a Big Time Breeder, I was condescendingly and metaphorically patted on the head by this Celebrity Reptile Hero, who appeared not to recognize the species........or even the genus........... In the past, I myself have been involved with legislators at two separate government levels in two separate efforts to effect positive changes to proposed restrictive new laws regarding the keeping of reptiles in captivity. The experiences in both cases really opened my eyes as to just how our Hobby is perceived by many publicly-paid officials. It would be fair to say that as a group, we don't have much credibility in their collective eyes. One person in authority actually commented to me directly that she found at least one of the "point men" on the Hobby side of the "fight" to be, in her words, "self-serving and sleazy". I balked at these words at the time, and then I proceeded to defend this individual rather vigorously, or, at least, as best I could. She reasoned (I would say rather accurately in hindsight) that such people are/were fighting increasingly restrictive legislation merely because they had profitable businesses to continue conducting, so I respectfully re-focused the discussion in the direction of all of the legitimate conservation work I and others had done and were continuing to do at the time. Some of this work was paid, but much of it was unpaid, and I made sure to mention all of the gratis educational presentations I and others had done over the years for various organizations. I mentioned the grade schools, the cottagers' associations, the nature clubs, the Native Reservation, the provincial youth prison, and the childrens' palliative ward. I backed up my claims with photo-albums, thank-you letters, thank-you posters, and the like. My point was made........some "credibility" was established........but I was surprised when I was then offered an "exemption" from whatever legislation was to be passed. I emphatically declined this offer, and in effect said, "I can assist you in your effort to do your job in a manner benefitting all of this city". While others persisted with a strident "all or nothing" position (driven by the "commerce" angle), I chose to work with legislators to establish legitimate reasons for them to understand our position as Hobbyists. I certainly cannot take more than my share of credit for the resulting favourable outcome, because there were several credible people involved in "the fight", but my belief now is that without the input of the people who didn't have any financial motivation for their involvement with both reptiles and the anti-legislation battle, the results would have been very different. Curiously enough, the same defense rationale used at the time by the Business-Types and the Money & Morph people was the same as that often used by the purveyors of many of society's ills..........."There's a demand for it!"..........The legislators didn't buy that argument back then, any more than a court of law would accept it from a crack dealer or child pornography distributor. Like the courts, I don't think one can defend everything and anything one chooses to do with a commerce-based argument. At the time, it chilled me to fight alongside people who had open contempt for the living reptiles they bred/sold/profited from, but ultimately didn't care about. It was a concession I made at the time, for, I believed, "the greater good". In the ensuing years, I have seen the Reptile Hobby degrade further than I ever thought possible. The obsessive focus on money above all else, on the "market value" of living creatures to the exclusion of virtually everything else, and the near-complete domination of the Hobby by those keeping, breeding, and selling only aberrant and genetically-compromised reptiles has led me to a startling conclusion. I fought on the wrong side back then. I won't make the same mistake again. Because of what these profit-and-novelty-driven hi-jackers have done to our Hobby, I suspect I will ultimately find myself on the opposing side of the battle the next time it rages. And it will rage again, here and there, and everywhere where there are people who try to take priveliges and morph them into "rights"..........the "I'll keep whatever I damn well please, and I'll do with it whatever I want to"-types. Like our friend Duff, I hope this currently-proposed and contentious legislation passes. One of its side-effects will undoubtedly be to clear out the less-than-purely-motivated among us. And how could that be bad?

I think it's time for some uplifting music........maybe it's just me, but all the recent talk of "market value" and "sales" and "customer service" and "morph combos" has bummed me out a little. What better way to revive things here than with a cheery, happy little blues song?? Here's one that somehow got summarily excised from another site. I'm really not sure why it got deleted. The Thread it was part of wasn't even a "Picture Thread", come to think of it. It's such a catchy, pretty song too. Why would anyone erase beautiful music from their site? As Brian Wilson would say.........God Only Knows.......... Designer Snake Blues (aka "Investors' Paradise") Intro: (female vocal chorus) Gottagettapythonregius......oooooooooh Gottagettapythonregius.........ooo ooooooo oooooh Gottagettapythonregius.............oh yeah.......... Verse 1: Savin' my nickels, savin' my dimes Workin' all day 'til the sun don't shine Gonna buy me some snakes of the BP kind Look like they're made by Frankenstein They gonna breed for me in double-time (First guitar solo - WB) Verse 2: An' what will really blow my mind Is when the buyers start to line My big deep pockets with cash so fine So I can board my yacht and dine On lobster, caviar and wine Bridge: Oh yeah, I'm a millionnaire A freakin' BP Millionnaire Can someone please find me a chair? Why do I feel such despair? I really think I need some air (2nd guitar solo - AB) Verse 3: Don't criticize my motives 'cause that's a crime Just invest with me, buy the party line And listen when I ring my chime "Them de-formed snakes is mighty fine" Excuse me now, I need the time To count my cash and end the rhyme (outtro: tenor sax solo, including the following taped "spoken words", layered in the mix) "Whaddaya mean the payment's due tomorrow??" (panicky male voice) "Anyone wanna buy these stupid snakes??" (angry male voice) "I can't even afford to feed these damn things anymore!" (squeaky-voiced teen) "I wish the hell I never heard of reptiles......" (frustrated, soft, defeated-sounding male voice) "Sorry honey, I admit it, I screwed up....." (sobbing male voice) "Investment-Quality WHAT???" (hysterical, shrieking female voice) "That's it! I'm getting into Antiques!!!! " (angry male voice again) (c) McKinley Morganfield/George R. Waters As a point of interest, I will once again be rehearsing and recording this particular song over the next two weeks with a crack team of musicians at my state-of-the-art facility. I hope to have it recorded, mixed, and available for sale on CD at my table at the next Big Reptile Expo. Here's the list of players already committed to the recording sessions: Guitar: Adrian Belew and W. Becker Bass: Stanley Clarke and the late John Entwistle Accoustic & Electric Piano: Thelonius Monk and Rick Wakeman Tenor Sax: Wayne Shorter Drums: Jim Gordon (freshly released from prison in California after killing his mother with a hammer in 1983) Backing Vocals: Venetta Fields/Sherlie Matthews, Eric Hasler Vocals: MODP and Ian "Lemmy" Kilmister, with a little help from Don Van Vliet. Sounds like a fun project. I'm looking forward to working with these guys again........ All My Musical Best, M/O/D/P ps - Up next......A Blue-Ribbon Panel consisting of A.H. Wright, Carl C. Ernst, J.Alan Holman, Roger W. Barbour, and Paris D. Hilton debates the fine art of making your very own Bumble-Bee flavoured pet python!

Thanks, Tom. I needed that. The beauty of nature.......a tribute to Natural Selection........and a cool photo-essay at the same time............aw, who am I kidding?.....It's just another load of Garter Snake photos........... DP ps- pps - ppps -

On the subject of "irritation and anger", Chris, I find myself becoming increasingly "angry and irritated" at the relative paucity of Thamnophis images and references here in The Lounge. Aside from a passing mention by valued contributor "beekeeper" at the bottom of page six, this group of amazing snakes seems to have gotten the brown end of the stick here. I simply can't seem to find any other references to Garter snakes or their allies in here at all. "Is that right?", I ask you all....... This deplorable situation doesn't seem right or proper to me, and so in that regard I have decided to research these under-represented serpents and post some of my photographic results from the past week or so right here and now on Repticlic. It's all part of my concerted effort to alienate virtually everyone who isn't in the "one per cent of the ten per cent" of The Reptile Hobby. If you're looking for the recipe for the creation your very own Neurological Nightmare or Genetic Junkpile, the following photo-essay is not for you. If you have an interest in things that are not contrived/orchestrated/deformed/debased or otherwise concocted for novelty and profit..........."This post's for you" . Despite the recent spate of bad weather here in Southern Ontario, they're "out"..........and they're breeding up a storm.......... The "good news" is........Lots more wild Thamnophis images to come. The "bad news" is........Lots more wild Thamnophis images to come . Regards, D. ps - pps - "Prolly" ppps- pppps -

I read "The Lizard King" a while ago, and I would recommend it to anyone looking for some insight into the often sleazy "industry" end of the Reptile Hobby. On balance, the author treats the subject matter and the various characters (both the "good guys" and the "bad guys") fairly and even-handedly. The reader is allowed to more-or-less make up his or her own mind about the people and events depicted in the book, since the author does not employ the usual "attack-style" or sensationalizing journalism techniques that might have made the book more contentious (but not more interesting, I think). All of the major players are treated here as fully developed characters, not as one-dimensional cartoons, and their words and actions are generally allowed to speak for themselves. From my own somewhat limited direct personal knowledge of the many "reptile people" presented in the book, it appears to me anyways that most are given fair treatment, and that most of the facts presented likely would not be disputed by any of the main participants. Some involved more directly might quibble on some details, and no doubt some individuals are displeased to see this book in print. A minor criticsm I would have of the book itself is the lack of an index, which makes finding names and specific incidents a rather laborious task. Persons with a geniune passion and respect for living creatures in general, and for reptiles in particular are likely to be appalled and angered by much of the routine, "business-as-usual" conduct documented here by Mr. Christy, and as such will feel a connection with the investigation and prosecution side of the story. Those individuals who continue to use reptiles as a springboard to expensive luxury cars and an embarrassing sort of half-assed Reptile Celebrity lifestyle will more likely side with the smugglers/poachers/wholesalers/distributors whose contempt for all living things is readily identifiable on almost every page of the book. Regards, D

Thanks for the update on the TARAS Horned Lizard initiative, Chris. You guys should be commended for helping to fund this great work, and also for the size of the financial committment. That's a lot of money coming from a fairly small but obviously very dedicated group. It's nice to see an organization primarily made up of Hobbyists taking the conservation of their native species this seriously, and even more impressive that the species in question is not one that is commonly offered in the Pet Trade, or kept by Hobbyists. Sincere thanks to all concerned from a fellow conservationist. Your post really makes me wonder, though.......... What If..............? What if............all of the money and effort that's been put into promoting "sales" and the creation and crass/mass marketing of horribly deformed and deliberately manufactured Investment-Quality Investments had instead been allocated for reptile habitat protection around the world? What if.............instead of concentrating on combining aberrant and deleterious traits in a handful of arbitrarily-deemed "profitable" species for personal financial gain only, all so-called "Professional Breeders" had opted to work exclusively on a combined effort to keep and propagate only locality-specific, genetically "clean" un-modified reptiles? What if.............these same people had dedicated their efforts to supporting breeding programs stocked with critically endangered reptiles, with the noble goal of eventual re-introduction of these species to existing or re-claimed habitat? Think about that for a minute......... What we now have instead is a laughable "industry" that creates and distributes such idiotic products as "Repti-Moon-Glow Drops" and "Iggy's Iguana Leash" and the hilariously-overpriced "package-deal" enclosures that come loaded with a bunch of offensively useless cage decorations that might appeal to a particularly slow child, but would go un-noticed and un-appreciated by any captive reptile. I think the truth is that if only our combined emphasis as Hobbyists had been on "pure forms" over the past twenty years or so instead of on "mutant pets", we would all be a whole lot better off. Of course, the Hobby wouldn't have nearly as many millionnaires driving around in Hummers and shiny-noo BMW "7-Series", I'll admit. If those are the things one really values in life, though, why not just factor the living creatures out, and stick to mutual funds, the stock market, crack distribution, or perhaps the analagously sleazy but hugely profitable "adult entertainment" industry? They're all legitimate questions, I think. Any answers out there? Regards, D

It's been pretty quiet here for a couple of days. Could it be that this "Expert Snake Breeder" fellow is just another "investor" whose "advice" is merely empty, self-serving drivel, and as such not worth a pinch of dog vomit? I wonder........ Perhaps we'd all best look elsewhere for good quality information about reptiles and amphibians, then. Maybe, just maybe, internet forums aren't the only place to get oneself informed when it comes to such things. One good starting point might be here: http://ssarherps.org/ This organization deserves our support, I think. The emphasis is squarely on scientific enquiry, though, and not on how to maufacture and distribute designer pets. Maybe it's time we in the Reptile Hobby raised the bar a little. After all, there's really only so much one can read or "discus" when it comes to the puppy-milling and marketing of living feculence. Just a thought. Regards, D ps - Up next..........."Black Is The New Black" . pps - Up after that........a link to a "Youtube" video of yours truly berating a gallon-sized jug of "Nix" for fifteen minutes! .

Announcer: This "Duff" kid is one to watch, folks. It's late in Spring Training and this new guy's still batting .1000 in only 11 spectacular at-bats for the hometown Natural Selectors. It's the bottom of the ninth, and the Selectors have the bases loaded with two outs. The pitcher for the Sleazy Pet-Trade Cabal is a crafty mass-marketer who just signed a 1-year, $30,000,000.00 deal and he comes to the mound with a slippery change-up and a sneaky curveball in his bag of tricks......let's see what happens, folks........The pitcher winds up......here it comes........ CRACK!!!! Announcer: Holy Cow, folks!! The kid really stepped into that one......it's up........up........up......It's OUTTA HERE!!!! That ball is up over the fifth-deck bleachers and into the lake!!! This announcer hasn't seen a Grand Slam like this one since Joe Carter smoked the Phillies back in '92!!!! The crowd is going wild!!!!! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ As promised earlier, I am introducing another new "advice column" in an effort to help educate all of us in the Reptile Hobby. We can all use good, helpful information from time to time, and I'm pleased to be able to run this column as a public service here on Repticlic. It works pretty much the same as any other advice column.........each week, readers submit their questions, and An Expert Snake Breeder answers them. Enjoy. Regards, D ________________________ Ask An Expert Snake-Breeder ________________________ Dear Expert Snake-Breeder: I have a nice little group of Eastern Garter Snakes. I have 2 adult males and 3 adult females, and until recently I've been keeping them separately. I hibernated them all for 60 days this past winter, and now that I have warmed them up, I was wondering, can I keep them all together in the same aquarium? I really enjoy watching them cruise around and interact with one another, and I was thinking of putting them into a nice big 100-gallon tank that's never been used. I was also hoping to successfully breed them this year. What do you think? Signed, "Thamnophis Fan" Dear "Fan": First off, let me say that "aquariums" are for "fish", not snakes. Snakes belong in plastic tubs or drawers. Listen to what I say, because I am an expert in this industry. Secondly: Don't waste your time with Garter Snakes. You'll never be taken seriously as a breeder until you learn to concentrate on rare, beautiful morphs of either Boas or Pythons, and you need to know that sitting around "watching" your snakes is a waste of time. I can help you, though. Please contact me at my e-mail address expert_breeder@hotmail.com so that I can provide you with a detailed list of the many Captive Bred snakes I currently have for sale. Dear Expert Snake-Breeder: I was recently at a "Reptile Expo" in my hometown for the first time ever. As a kid, I used to love catching and observing wild snakes at my uncle's farm. I noticed that the "expo" snakes didn't look much like the ones I remembered from years ago. The wild snakes I used to see had colour, sometimes "bright", sometimes "cryptic", but the ones at the expo were mostly white, light pink, or a very washed-out yellow/brown, and they somehow had an overall "un-natural" appearance to me, anyways. All of the dealers told me this difference was because the "expo" snakes are "morphs" bred in captivity, and that this fact makes them much, much better than those snakes from Uncle Bob's farm. What do you think? Signed, "Expo Newbie" Dear "Newbie": Of course "Captive Bred" reptiles are ALWAYS better! I can't even believe anyone would ask that kind of question. The problem with "wild" reptiles is that they are ALL full of parasites, and ALL of them are dying. I'm surprised that there are any snakes left in the wild, because, as I mentioned, they are ALL diseased and dying. Listen to what I say, because I am an expert in this industry. You should always pay for your snakes, and they should always be Captive Bred! Don't buy anything though without first checking my huge list of investment quality offspring. I have competitive pricing, and I offer the very best customer service. Buy from me and you won't be sorry! Dear Expert Snake-Breeder: I have a real dilemma on my hands. I have a number of clutches of snake eggs that are around half-way through development, but I will be moving from my house into an apartment several miles away in less than a week. My question is, can I move the eggs without harming them? I don't know if this makes any difference, but I am currently driving a six year old Jeep Wrangler. Please help me with any advice you may have. Signed: "Recently Downsized" Dear "Downsized": You definitely CAN'T move those eggs without killing them. No way. Even if you were driving a brand new BMW 7-Series, you shouldn't move them, but at least if you were behind the wheel of a fine German or Japanese luxury vehicle, your eggs might, and I stress "might" stand a chance. Don't even think about putting them in that Jeep. All cars built in North America are garbage. I wouldn't even get into a North American-built car or truck myself, let alone risk valuable eggs that way. Do whatever you like, though. If your eggs don't make it, you can check my extensive list of currently available snakes for sale, and don't forget to have a look at my "future projects" section too. As a reputable professional breeder, I am always on the cutting edge of this industry's latest trends. You can depend on me to offer fair prices and the best customer service in the business! Dear Expert Snake-Breeder: I am looking to start a library of reptile-related books and I was hoping that you could recommend some "must have" titles. I have recently come into around $2,500.00 as the result of an inheritance, and I think that it would be appropriate for the money to go towards something lasting and noble in honour of the memory of my late Grandfather, who was also a reptile lover and a dedicated conservationist. Thanks in advance, sir. Signed: "Starved For Knowledge" Dear "Starved": There's no way you could ever spend that much money on books. Well, maybe you could, but why would you? I can tell you that once you have "The Complete Ball Python", "The Ball Python Manual", "The Complete Boa", and "Ball Pythons: History, Care and Breeding", that's as big as any library needs to be. Period. As a pioneer in this industry, I would suggest that you take the remaining inheritance and invest it in some top-grade Captive Bred snakes. Send me an e-mail and I'll send you my updated list. Don't buy elsewhere until you have talked to me, because I can beat every other breeder's prices on today's hottest morphs. Customers who buy from me always get the best snakes at the best prices, and my after-sales service is second to none! Dear Expert Snake-Breeder: Someone recently told me about an amazing kind of snake I had never heard of before called a "Coachwhip". I think that the scientific name is "Masticophis". He said that they are fantastic snakes, full of energy and vigor, and that they can be found in a surprising variety of natural colours. He also told me that they do really well in captivity if they are given the proper setup. What can you tell me about these snakes? Signed: "Nature Lover" Dear "Lover": I can tell you this. Your friend is pulling a joke on you, because there is no such snake. "Coach-whip"?? What is that supposed to be, a snake you would "whip" your favourite football "coach" with?? I can't believe anyone would fall for a dumb joke like that. For proof, just check out any major breeder's website and look for this "Coach-whip" of yours. You won't find it, and that should tell you all you need to know. Listen to what I say, because I am a pioneer in this industry. Instead of asking nonsensical questions about mythical snakes, you should check out my website "ExpertSnakeBreeder.com" for an extensive photo gallery of investment quality snakes that you can buy from me because they actually exist. Don't forget, I work with the best bloodlines in the industry, and I back all of my snakes with a 100% satisfaction guarantee!! _____________________________________________________ "An Expert Snake-Breeder" is a noted reptile authority and Industry Giant. His column, "Ask An Expert Snake-Breeder" is nationally syndicated and appears in over 250 newspapers nation-wide.

As a matter of fact, I do have a few stray images of some amelanistic L. t. hondurensis still lying around. Thanks for asking, Mr. or Mrs. "EyeCu". I'm trying not to be sarcastic, really.......I'd be happy to address you respectfully by your real name, but you've chosen to remain anonymous here, and, I suspect, elsewhere as well. The stunningly asinine "avatar" and unsigned post say it all, don't they? Didn't we just go through this idiotic excercise with the equally-anonymous "beekeeper"?? Of course, I could be mistaken. This is "The Internet", after all. I myself have chosen not to hide behind the veil of anonymity because I have no trouble backing up any position I may take here with "facts" and "science" and "direct personal experience" and even an "informed opinion". Not everyone is willing or able do this, I realize. I'd really prefer not to soil this Thread too much, but here are a few shots, as requested...... One of the few "good" clutches from this doomed "project"......not surprisingly, the sire was a wild-caught male. Here's that beautiful wild-caught, "unpolluted" male L. t. hondurensis to help wash away the putrid memories of those genetically defective snakes........poor things....... Sometime around 1997/98, I received a pair of amelanistic Honduran Milksnakes. At the time, there were few if any other amelanistic Hondurans in Canada. The young pair I got came originally from the Louis Porras collection. Perhaps some of you are familiar with Mr. Porras's name. I suspect he needs no introduction from the likes of me. I recall at the time reading Louie's article on the amelanistics in "Vivarium" magazine. He had owned one of the first wild-caught examples, but he had subsequently decided to divest himself of the majority of his live collection in order to pursue other ventures. The full story is a long and rather dull one, but suffice it to say that there was (and is) a "fertility problem" with many of these naturally-occurring spontaneous mutations, and this one was no exception. This is another example of how Natural Selection favours any organism that isn't genetically compromised. You don't survive long as a group if your fertility rate is poor. During the late 1990s and early 2000s I hatched out many dozens of "normal" Honduran Milksnakes of various natural phases, but had very little success with producing amelanistics. I did hatch out a couple here and there, though. I have since spoken to a number of respected breeders who report similar disappointing results with amelanistic Hondurans. Basically, these things were pretty little bits of living garbage. I'd like to go on record here and say that I have never stated here or anywhere else that all so-called "morphs" are inherently evil or without study value. I have owned or photographed and will continue to own and photograph a small number of interesting naturally-occurring aberrancies. They are, however, mere living curiosities for me. My problem with the current state of the Reptile Hobby is that snakes I feel should be treated as nothing more than curious freaks of nature have become an obsesssion for the overwhelming majority of today's deformity-worshipping breeders/keepers. "Normal" i.e. "Natural" i.e. "unpolluted" has become codified language for "entry-level" or "worthless", and most production-line snake breeders eschew anything resembling Nature in favour of churning out mutant "investments" made from combining numerous deleterious traits, all for fun and profit. It's a real "Fuck You" to Natural Selection, isn't it? Imagine that. In a Hobby so top-heavy with bottom-feeders who can barely shit the rent every month, but who prattle on and on about $5,000.00 and $10,000.00 designer snakes..............who could imagine someone with a cash-flow problem??? Unbelievable. Thanks for your rather obvious attempt at embarrassing me here. I'm not the one who should be embarrassed, though. Regards, D ps - Attention All Investors: "Your Gold Teeth are showing" pps - "Flashy"

Oh, but there is an Advice Column such as you desribe, Steven. It's called "Ask An Expert Snake Breeder", and it's coming up right here on this very Repticlic Thread. It will be part of my latest effort to re-build some metaphorical bridges in the Reptile Community, and I hope it will make me lots of new Big Time Professional Breeder friends in the process . Regards, D

Thanks for the intro, Rog..........hmmmmmmmm......another legendary "Roger"...........What are we to make of all this, then? I promised some "green" a while back, didn't I? Far be it from me to disappoint. Just like the old Floyd sequence, the delicate pretty stuff will be followed up with some blood-curdling screams. Make of that what you will...........tomorrow.........perhaps........... In the meantime, as you all ponder the cryptic stuff, here are some all new images of a couple of real live snakes behaving as they will in their Natural Surroundings.......... Smooth Green Snake, Liochlorophis vernalis, in all its cryptic glory....... A little less cryptic......for just a minute or so........ That's it for the "green".....for a while anyways........now here's some equally cryptic brown...........Storeria dekayi, "in situ"...... "Snakes: Hidden Where You Find Them" Regards, DP ps - Up next: "The Bloodbath"........or maybe simply another Advice Column..........who knows? pps - For "Duff"........ ppps - "Cork Bark"